The Ig Nobel Prizes， a celebrated annual event that never fails to elicit chuckles， are back! This year marks the 35th iteration， a recurring “first time” phenomenon， much like the promise of “this being the last time” after a night of staying up late， offering a peculiar sense of comfort.
Previously， this esteemed award ceremony has showcased ingenious minds from around the globe contributing groundbreaking research such as ‘breathing through one’s derrière’ and ‘flushing the colon with alcohol.’ This year， the caliber of work remains exceptionally… aromatic， leaving little room for further elaboration.
Without further ado， let’s delve into the awards.
Traditionally， winners receive a substantial sum of ten trillion Zimbabwean dollars， which， to be frank， translates to a few cents in RMB. However， this year， the organizers confessed they could no longer afford such a hefty prize due to currency fluctuations. Thus， the award has been revised to a single — yes， you read that right — a pack of wet wipes.
On a practical note， the enhanced utility of the prize is commendable. Now， let’s examine the world-shattering， yet curiously thought-provoking， research that merits this esteemed pack of wet wipes.
Literature Prize: Observing Fingernails for 35 Years
William B. Bean， the recipient of this year’s Literature prize， embarked on a remarkable 35-year endeavor， beginning at the age of 32. Dedicatedly marking his left thumbnail， he meticulously tracked the speed at which his fingernails grew. This sustained observation， spanning nearly 450 months with only two missed recordings， exemplifies extraordinary perseverance. One can only surmise that such dedication would lead to success in any undertaking.
Bean’s diligent efforts unveiled a rather significant discovery: fingernail growth slows with age. Specifically， the growth rate decreased from a youthful 0.123 mm per day to 0.095 mm per day by age 67. This finding humorously suggests that time is not only an aging agent but also a nail trimmer.
Furthermore， he observed that severe illness， such as the mumps he contracted， also decelerated nail growth. Interestingly， individuals who habitually bite their nails experienced a 20% faster growth rate compared to their non-nail-biting counterparts.
Many might question the connection between this meticulous nail observation and the field of literature. The answer lies in the eloquent prose of Bean’s paper， where he elucidated his motivation: “This is a very long-term record of the growth of human shed tissues… a record of keratin that moves but slowly， measuring the passage of age on the unpitying abscissa of time.” The poetic framing of this scientific data provides the literary merit.
Biology Prize: Cows Impersonating Zebras
The Biology prize was awarded to Japanese researchers， continuing Japan’s impressive 19-year streak of Ig Nobel wins， a testament to their consistent comedic genius in science. This year’s peculiar experiment involved painting cows with zebra-like stripes to deter flies. The motivation stemmed from livestock farmers’ desire to mitigate fly bites， which can transmit diseases. The researchers drew inspiration from the hypothesis that zebra stripes evolved as a defense mechanism against biting insects.
To test this theory， several purebred Japanese Black cows were meticulously adorned with black and white stripes， transforming them into bovine cosplayers. For scientific rigor， control groups consisting of cows with only black stripes and unpainted cows were also established. The results were striking: the “zebra” cows had significantly fewer flies landing on them and exhibited fewer tail-swishing attempts to ward off insects compared to the control groups.
Adding to the amusement， the researchers themselves attended the award ceremony clad in zebra-striped attire， even bringing flies to the event， fully immersing themselves in their themed artistry. This experiment humorously validates the notion that “skins” in video games might indeed offer gameplay advantages， suggesting a potential market for zebra-striped pajamas next summer.
Pediatrics Prize: The Alluring Aroma of Garlic in Breast Milk
While many， perhaps like the zombies in Plants vs. Zombies， find garlic-flavored food unappealing， this research team decided to investigate infants’ preferences for it. Eight lactating mothers were given garlic capsules， after which their infants were breastfed. The study observed the infants’ reactions to the garlic-infused milk.
A natural question arises: does garlic consumption affect the flavor of breast milk? Indeed， it does. To ensure scientific accuracy， an all-adult “breast milk evaluation panel” was assembled to assess the milk samples’ aroma. Their findings indicated that the intensity of the breast milk’s scent peaked two hours after the mothers consumed garlic. The infants’ behavior corroborated these findings; during periods when their milk carried a garlic aroma， they exhibited improved appetite， longer feeding durations， and more frequent suckling. This scientifically-backed observation suggests that parents concerned about their infants’ hunger might consider integrating more garlic into their diets. It also sparks the whimsical question of whether bubble tea shops might experiment with garlic-flavored milk drinks.
Chemistry Prize: Dieting with Non-Stick Pan Coatings
The pursuit of weight loss has reached an era of extreme self-deception， with many products claiming “zero calories” with little basis. Now， scientists propose a novel approach: ingesting polytetrafluoroethylene (PTFE)， commonly known as Teflon， in powdered form to facilitate weight loss. This is the very same material used as a non-stick coating in cookware.
The reasoning behind this proposal is that the stomach， being relatively rudimentary in its satiety cues， relies on volume and weight rather than precise calorie counts. Therefore， introducing a calorie-free， yet substantial， filler could effectively trick the stomach into perceiving fullness. PTFE emerges as an ideal candidate due to its resistance to stomach acid， tastelessness， smooth passage through the digestive tract， and remarkable stability， meaning it is not absorbed by the body and is excreted in its original form – akin to the notoriously indigestible enoki mushrooms.
Experimental trials were conducted on laboratory rats， where over a 90-day period， rats were fed a diet consisting of 25% PTFE powder. Remarkably， the rats experienced no adverse effects and even exhibited weight loss. The researchers openly shared their ratio of three parts food to one part PTFE powder. However， a word of caution is warranted: while the rats remained unharmed， the long-term effects of ingesting PTFE on humans have not been established， and human physiology may not possess the same resilience as that of laboratory rodents.
Numerous other whimsical studies were also recognized. For instance， a group of Italian researchers discovered that lizards exhibit a distinct preference for pizzas topped with four types of cheese， eschewing others altogether， highlighting their discerning palates.
The Peace Prize this year recognized the finding that alcohol consumption can， at times， enhance one’s ability to speak foreign languages. This observation resonates with personal experience; a notably introverted friend， after a few drinks， eloquently conversed in a foreign language for half an hour， leading to a perception akin to experiencing genuine imported spirits. In essence， while some scientific endeavors may appear perplexing， upon closer reflection， they often hold an underlying rationale.
Whether painting zebra stripes on cows or studying the olfactory characteristics of garlic-infused breast milk， these studies， from an unconventional angle， explore legitimate scientific domains such as agricultural production and human physiology. The researchers are not merely telling jokes; their research process is inherently humorous， yet the scientific value is tangible. Thus， while we may indulge in laughter， it is imperative to remember the core principle of the Ig Nobel Prizes: to make people laugh， and then to make them think.
